Ex-teacher becomes caregiver for brother, Sun City mother

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is another installment of a series exploring issues faced by families who care for special needs adults.

For Yolande, 67, it has made her see the humor in the daily missteps and quirks that go along with caring for Robert, 55, and Annette, 92.

"There is some humor in taking care of them," Yolande said. "It grew on me, little by little."

Annette and Robert moved from California to Sun City in 1978, and Yolande followed them after completing a teaching contract a year later.

At that time Annette was in good health, and always had Robert live with her.

About two years ago, Annette began exhibiting signs of Alzheimer’s. She still won’t acknowledge that is her diagnosis, though, Yolande said.

"She started forgetting a lot, became disoriented while driving," Yolande said. "And when she realized it, she has not driven since then. She gave it up on her own."

Now her memory is very limited and prevents her from recalling a recent trip to Maine for a family reunion.

Both Annette and Robert attend specialized adult day care programs through Interfaith Community Care during the week.

And Robert has been participating in the Sun Cities/Youngtown Special Activity Center, a group that meets twice a week for social activities geared for special needs adults and their caregivers, for about 30 years, where he enjoys the socialization and dancing.

He worked for some time at a local grocery store until he began cursing at Yolande after learning those words from other workers.

Taking care of Robert is labor-intensive: he has kidney problems, which require a permanent catheter.

"And he has no notion of hygiene," Yolande said. "He has the mentality of a 5-year-old."

Also, he has not developed a conscience, she said, which adds to the complexity of caring for him.

"He thinks if he does something that is wrong and nobody sees him, it’s OK," Yolande said. "When we go to the grocery store I have to have him keep both hands on the cart."

She said she has set goals for Robert, including maintaining his bedroom and learning how to use the washer and dryer. Part of the humor comes into play if Yolande asks Robert to pick up his room, and he picks up everything off the floor and puts it on the dresser.

"Any day that goes well is a reward," Yolande said. "(And that’s) any day I don’t have to justify the reason why we don’t do certain things, or he has taken medication, and followed goals."

Though Yolande has other siblings who say they would take care of Annette or Robert, she said they have little experience in the day-to-day tasks of care giving.

"It’s more challenging than they think," Yolande said.

However, Yolande’s brother and sister-in-law come for a week each year to allow her to take a week off and travel on her own.

Yolande credits her faith for helping her through each day.

"What keeps me going is my spiritual life," Yolande said. "I go to church every day and depend totally on Him."

Joy Slagowski may be reached at 623-876-2514, or jslagowski@yourwestvalley.com.

DID YOU KNOW?

>> The Arizona Caregiver Coalition offers resources and support for caregivers, including respite care provided by Arizona Lifespan Respite Care Network for those who may not quality for publicly funded services.
Some examples of who might qualify for services through the program:

Caregivers of persons who are seriously or terminally ill, who do not currently qualify for hospice care.
Caregivers of persons under 60 who have significant functional impairments, but are not eligible for disability services.

Caregivers of persons with early cognitive deficit resulting in functional impairment, who have not yet received a “likely” diagnosis of dementia.

Grandparents or relative caregivers less than 55 years of age caring for children 18 and younger.

Caregivers of veterans not qualified for respite services from the Veterans Administration.

The services are coordinated through the Area Agency on Aging.

Call them at 602-264-4357, or visit online, www.aaaphx.org  for more information.

>> Did you know a disability placard is issued in the name of the applicant, and may be used in any vehicle? An application is available online or in DMV offices, and must be signed by an authorized physician stating that the applicant must have one or more of the following conditions: unable to walk 200 feet without stopping to rest; unable to walk without assistance from another person or from a brace, cane, crutch, wheelchair or other prosthetic or assistive device; lung disease with forced respiratory, expiratory volume for one second, if measured by spirometry, is less than one liter, or the arterial oxygen tension is less than 60 mm/Hg on room air at rest; uses portable oxygen; cardiac condition with Class 3 or 4 functional limitations as by American Heart Association standards; or severely limited in ability to walk due to an arthritic, neurological or orthopedic condition.

>> On the Web:
http://www.azdot.gov/mvd/vehicle/mvdplate.asp#PermDisability

http://mvd.azdot.gov/mvd/formsandpub/viewPDF.asp?lngProductKey=1390&lngFormInfoKey=1390