Banner nurse carries on mission of emotional healing

When Terry Emrick suffered an early pregnancy loss 24 years ago, the cold, sterile process left her feeling empty and alone.

"At that time we weren’t admitted into the hospital, so I was in the emergency room waiting for the baby to pass, which was referred to as ‘the remains of conception’, as a fetus before 20 weeks," Emrick, a registered nurse, said. "It was very cold and sterile, and my husband wondered for an hour what was happening,"

Emrick resolved that another family wouldn’t have the same experience.

So Emrick is chair of the bereavement committee at The Nesting Place, part of the Women and Infants Services department at Banner Del E. Webb Medical Center in Sun City West, which helps families through fetal and newborn loss.

The committee is hosting its second annual memorial service at 5:30 p.m. on Thursday outside the entrance to the Louisa Kellam Center for Women’s Health, located on the north side of the hospital, 14502 W. Meeker Blvd., in Sun City West.

The hourlong ceremony is meant to be healing for families, friends and staff, and is open to anyone who would like to honor the memory of a child they have lost or a child they have known who has died.

The outdoor service will include music, poetry, readings, a candle lighting ceremony and a butterfly release.

The butterfly release was a highlight of last year’s service, Emrick said.

"We had some that stayed a while and landed on people," Emrick said.

Emrick said Banner Del E. Webb Medical Center experiences about two to three deaths a month in their Nesting Place.

Helping parents through the grieving process is an important part of healing.

"We help them realize that mom and dad do grieve, and people grieve differently," Emrick said, who has also lost two grandchildren.

Emrick said the bereavement staff helps with referrals to area support networks and regular follow-up calls.

"The biggest thing is with a baby that died before it was born, especially in an early pregnancy, you have people think it’s better now than later," Emrick said. "But in reality it’s not good it happened at all."

Family and friends may not understand the complexities of that loss.

"They think you should get over it and get on with life," Emrick said. "But it’s hard to do that. Parents need to feel validated that maybe their child was not born breathing, it was still their child and a big hurdle to get over."

"Friends may not want to talk about it, and abandon them after the initial period of mourning," Emrick said. "But for the parents, their lives have changed totally."