• The wife says: You want

The wife means: You want

• The wife says: We need

The wife means: I want

• The wife says: It’s your decision

The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

• The wife says: Do what you want

The wife means: You’ll pay for this later

• The wife says: We need to talk

The wife means: I need to complain

• The wife says: Sure... go ahead

The wife means: I don’t want you to

• The wife says: Are you listening to me?

The wife means: [Too late, you’re doomed.]

• The wife says: Yes

The wife means: No

• The wife says: No

The wife means: No

• The wife says: Maybe

The wife means: No

• The wife says: I’m sorry

The wife means: You’ll be sorry

• The wife says: Hang the picture there

The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

• The wife says: I heard a noise

The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

• The wife says: I’m not yelling!

The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

• The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.

The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

• In answer to the question “What’s wrong,” the wife says: The same old thing.

The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.

The wife means: Everything.